It’s March 2nd now and I don’t know when I’d be able to publish this post.
We live in the world where your body and your face is everything! It decides with who you will hanging out, fall in love, even which job you can or cannot do.
Living in that world, to a girl like me who is pretty short (about 163-4cm) and not fat but I don’t know how to say it… I weight about 62 kilograms… Has been pretty stressful. Earlier when my friends used to call me fat but as a joke, I felt like I need to do something with my body because I don’t like it (I didn’t care that much what people tell me, but what I think) so I started working out. There were a lot of fails during this journey, but I loved the feeling I get when I finish my workout. I hated working out while doing it but then… I realized that whenever I finish my workout, I feel like I’ve done something I should be proud of and that I’m one step closer to my ”dream body”.
The last workout, 15 minutes ago, didn’t past that well for me…
The 5 minutes before I would normally finish my workout I… I got that horrible pain in my knee. I had a lot of problems with my left knee before. For one time I wasn’t even able to walk. I was visiting one Doctor to another, and when I finally got the answer, they told me the little bone in my knee has been moved and that I need to do some ”leg lift and downs” (can’t really tell how they called that move/workout) so I did it and my knee was okay. Until 15 minutes ago…
I fell on the floor and started crying. My sister was there with me and she called my mom who has helped me to get up and she massaged me knee a little bit. Then it stopped. The pain was gone but…
My mom told me that she doesn’t allow me to workout anymore. It was a huge disappointment to me! I didn’t cry because of the pain anymore, I cried because I knew that I… I will never be skinny…
I sat down for a little bit and cried a lot but my mom told me that I she allows me to walk if I want, not run, just walk, but that’d be effective, too. Just to don’t work out anymore.
I’ve stopped crying and I realized that my new workout will be walking and that’s totally fine.
I’ll be walking for about 30-40 minutes everyday (I’ve already imagined my plan) and I’ll just have to be careful with my calories intake.
But hey… That was one of the most important moments of my life because I… I’ve realized that I already have my ”dream body” and yeah, it’s not skinny, but it’s healthy and I love it. I love my body the way it is. I don’t want to be skinny anymore. I want to be confident! I want to be myself!
I want to feel happy about who I am and never be ashamed of my body again!
Maybe I’d like to lose a couple of kilograms and that’s it! I love my body and that’s why I’m going to eat healthy from now. That doesn’t mean that I’ll be vegan or something like that but I respect those people, don’t get me wrong, I’ll have a bar of chocolate from time to time, I’ll treat myself if I feel like it and that’s all!
From now I’m, also, trying to get confident and I’m inviting all of you to this life-changing journey. Because… What’s wrong with being confident? Haha Demi Lovato is bae!
Love you guys all and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post!
See ya next time!